someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
