It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize