And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
