What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
