so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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