Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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