Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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