i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize