we're blogging at a bar
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
