You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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