I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
