fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
