Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
