Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
