Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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