i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
