y did u give ur computer a hand job?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
