I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize