you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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