Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
