somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
