thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
