apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
