I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
