Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize