so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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