I think I am morally bankrupt
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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