I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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