so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
