don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
