who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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