How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
