Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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