Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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