I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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