I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
is that a dick in a sweater?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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