And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
