I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
