I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize