Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
