if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize