I didn't shave. On purpose
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
