he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
