Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize