Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
