his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize