i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize