I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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