Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
