I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
