# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
