Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
