remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
