Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
