i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
