No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
