My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
