Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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