If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
