i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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